Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Reviewed by Biseor
So what can good old gun totin' Biseor say about the new Star Wars movie? Well, since the new Star Wars movie doesn't also contain the words "Good, bad, and Ugly" I can only give it a mediocre at best review. First off, I would like to thank Raitlore for getting me a media ticket to go see this flick. Sorry about that broken pelvis, no hard feelings right?
"No! This time i'm serious! I'm going to do it! I mean it this time!"
First off let me say that I am no big Star Wars fan. They were all good, entertaining movies. Except C3P-O, the homosexual droid. I heard George Lucas nearly went nuts directing the first movie, and almost committed suicide. So at least we know he's a real hard working film director who doesn't sit there, take a shit, and call it good film. *ahem, Speilburg*
All I want you to know is that I will try to be as judicious as possible in grading this film.
Sadly enough after hearing Jar Jar open his stupid computer generated mouth for the tenth time I because nauseated. I stumbled out of the theatre and puked my guts out into a baby carriage. So I actually only saw about � of the movie. But from what I pieced together later, here is how the movie ends�
"Okay, so i'm Mark Hamill's dad...so does that make Darth Maul my dad? Or wait, is Luke the Emperor's uncle?"
In the final battle in outer space suddenly four hundred death stars jump out of hyperspace and then you hear the emperor say "I have come from the future to make Imperial dignity loss minimal!" then the death stars proceeded to destroy everything in the galaxy. After this the emperor overlooks the remains of a once plentiful planet where he saw the statue of liberty. "Damn you! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP! DAMN YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!!" said the emperor while he shook a fist at the sky. The end.
"No! This time i'm serious! I'm going to do it! I mean it this time!"
First off let me say that I am no big Star Wars fan. They were all good, entertaining movies. Except C3P-O, the homosexual droid. I heard George Lucas nearly went nuts directing the first movie, and almost committed suicide. So at least we know he's a real hard working film director who doesn't sit there, take a shit, and call it good film. *ahem, Speilburg* All I want you to know is that I will try to be as judicious as possible in grading this film.
Sadly enough after hearing Jar Jar open his stupid computer generated mouth for the tenth time I because nauseated. I stumbled out of the theatre and puked my guts out into a baby carriage. So I actually only saw about � of the movie. But from what I pieced together later, here is how the movie ends�
"Okay, so i'm Mark Hamill's dad...so does that make Darth Maul my dad? Or wait, is Luke the Emperor's uncle?"
"Oh Artoo...where are you?"
